Expectation is the root of all heartache.
– William Shakespeare
Over the last couple of weeks, I feel like I’m watching a movie where seemingly sensible people suddenly start behaving like absolute children. Some people behave with so little sensitivity to a situation that it leaves me astounded.
Either they don’t have the balls to confront the situation at all, or they are completely rude and ignorant. While I understand that different people handle themselves in different ways, I am constantly surprised by people’s actions.
I have so little strength left for anymore he-said-she-said and considering everyone’s thoughts and opinions. Are any of these people considering mine? Who’s best interests are we all acting in? It’s so hard to find the line between being a door mat and burning bridges that don’t belong to me, but I have been pushed to the brink.
It’s feels as though everyone wants to grab the pieces of this mess that appeal to them. As if our life and family is worth less than the sum of it’s parts. That now that we’re not a package, they can pick and choose which bits still interest them. I find this all incredibly disrespectful and invasive and very sad.
At the moment I’m feeling very defensive and protective. I’m putting up my firm boundaries and hope that they are respected. I’m sure that in time I will mellow and feel safer but at the moment there are too many things threatening our already very fragile state.
It’s time to take some space to think about myself and Raffy and regroup. We need to get back on our feet and build a new life. It’s not going to be an easy road but with time and patience, we’ll get there.