I have always been that person that had a clear view of where they were going and what life was going to look like. Two-and-a-bit years ago I met the man who would make my life complete and every day I count my lucky stars to have the little guy around. However, other aspects of my life haven’t worked out as I had hoped.
So suddenly, I’m in a position that I had never even considered and to be honest, I’m floored. How the hell do I keep everything going on my own? How do I earn enough to support us both without sacrificing the time we spend together? How do I encourage his relationship with his dad when I’m so hurt? And how to I stop him from becoming a bargaining chip in what could easily become a very messy situation?
It’s so hard to experience loss like this without the luxury of being able to fall apart. To slap a smile on your face and skip and sing nursery rhymes like any other sunny day. But that’s what’s keeping me going; I have so much to live for. And ultimately, my feelings are not what is most important to me.
I have a lot to learn and to figure out and I’m sure that I’m going to get a lot wrong. But I look around and see so many inspiring and strong women who achieve so much despite the hands they’ve been dealt and I hope to do the same. For now, my focus is on establishing our new little family unit and setting some new goals for the future. There’s a lot of love in our little duo, so I think we’ll be alright.